This is not the usual pseudo-inspirational fluff that so many a “guru” produces on a day-to-day basis. We are here to get to the root of the problem, to take the first steps at starting a new chapter in life. Let’s start with the reason behind the fact that you are looking for a new chapter in life. Whether you made the wrong decisions or whether bad things just happened to you, the answer is the same. It is not the life you wanted.
However, you are absolutely aware of the fact that this is reality – there are no easy restarts. In contrast to what happens in video games, there is no reset button. Nevertheless, that does not mean you don’t deserve to have the life you have always wanted. Why can’t you be truly happy? Can’t we all be happy? Well, from an objective point of view, let’s take it one step at a time.
Step 1: Start with positive thinking
Again, this is not the usual positivity trash talk. We all know just “being” positive takes a lot of effort. It might even be impossible if you’re battling with depression. That’s why I will recommend you give up. You’re probably wondering whether you read that right. Yes, you did. Give up! Not on life, but on even caring about what life throws at you.
You are here, along with everyone else. We are ALL going through the downs. But that also means that we’re all going through the ups. What I’m saying is that you should start over. You are, after all, trying to start a new chapter in life. So give up on the usual, and start with a clean slate. Of course, that is easier said than done. But it is a lot easier getting from point A to B than going from point A to point Z.
Essentially, this means to have absolutely no perspective. This makes it easier for you to actually have the right perspective. The right perspective is to think positively by actually acknowledging that life is difficult. How is this positive you may ask? It’s positive because you are not living in that fantasy world where everything should just be perfect. News flash, it won’t. This means, in a way, you will stop fighting that war. It doesn’t, however, mean you won’t be fighting a war.
Which brings us to…
Step 2: There are angels and demons in each of us
Life’s difficulties are, sadly, due to us. Us as humans. We burn our own bridges, but we also light our own fires. And, this is where it gets more complicated; where it actually makes sense, we also burn the bridges for others. Many will tell you that your life is complicated only because of
yourself. However, that is a fallacy. It is also complicated because of others. While we can’t control others, we can control ourselves. Know that any person can be your enemy, but also your savior.
There are people that you will meet along your journey that are the fork in the road. They will break your belief. What can you do about it? Arm yourself! Be prepared. After having taken the first step, through positive thinking and becoming aware of the fact that life is difficult, you will know that you need to have a plan. People can’t jump out of the bush and stop you from your desired path if you are already equipped with the best defense and offense.
Once you know that someone is going to try to break you down emotionally, ruin you financially, have you jump over hurdles of paperwork, you also know how to be prepared this time around, in your new chapter in life.
Unfortunately, this can also make one paranoid. This should not make you scared of every single bend in the road, but, rather, simply prepare you for the inevitable. To deal with this, you should also be relieved to know that there are angels in each of us. There actually are people willing to help you with your journey. Don’t expect people to help, but just know that angels are there. Remember the time that you helped someone else in life? Well, that will happen to you along your path as well.
Step 3: Looking for greener pastures
Eventually, along your journey, after completing step 2, you will know that you are prepared. In such a way that you are confident. Confident in the fact that you can handle everything that life throws at you. You might even enjoy the feeling of having been prepared and overcoming those obstacles. At this point, you are looking to get out of the desert, and into that sweet oasis.
This does not mean you should sheathe your sword. It means that you should start enjoying life for what it has to offer you. Accept the difficulties, enjoy the possibilities in your new chapter in life. It’s time for the rollercoaster to go up.
Do what you want to do – responsibly, of course. Exercise, get enough sleep, eat well, enjoy some travels, and some TV shows to binge on.
Step 4: Settle upon reaching the summit
Since you are enjoying the intricacies of life, it is time to settle down somewhere. This is where you make your final strides toward achieving what you set out to accomplish in life. Make your dreams come true. You know you have nothing to lose. In starting your new chapter in life, you know that you already gave up. You are just along for the ride, enjoying the finer things – all while being prepared for the unexpected (it should seem contradictive, but it oddly makes a lot of sense, right?). But that’s exactly the premise behind starting a new life. You would like to take it easy, but not be around for a hard crash to rock bottom.
From here, you can buy that house. Study further. Get married (or get married again). Whatever it is you wanted to do, because you made it to the top of the mountain.
Case study
If this still doesn’t make sense to you, it’s about to. What good is the advice to you if you aren’t sure it will actually work. So, here’s a great case study for you – based on real events (this was someone’s life, but imagine this is you – perhaps, it is you).
You just got divorced, you have several children, you are unemployed with no formal education, and you are addicted to substances. It pretty much can’t get much worse, right?
Well, the truth is that so many people have gone through this. This is rock bottom. How do you even begin to deal with this? How can you even “stay positive”, like others are suggesting? Firstly, give up. You have already lost. What you need to do is to take your first step in your new chapter.
What will you do, and can you do, when you have no money? You must do something. Otherwise, you are out on the street with your hungry children. The answer lies in not being afraid, because you have already lost. There is nothing more to lose. You can now actually start by preparing. Prepare for your new chapter in life.
You take any job you can find. Eventually, you find someone willing to help you take care of the children. You work hard, but that is only because you were prepared for not actually being homeless out on the street. You are no longer addicted. Because you gave up and found someone or something to help you through your addiction.
From there, you are already planning how to improve your conditions. You are searching for the oasis. You take some night classes, read about jobs that will pay more in another country, and you start your new plans. Now that you have your plans, even though you are struggling financially, you know that nothing can break you (been there, done that). You keep fighting. You do your research, you reach out to potential angels, and you do everything you possibly can to get to greener pastures – because there is no down, there is only an up.
Before you know it, you get a chance. And then more chances. You are enjoying the little things. Since you are already used to it all, you know you are ready to start settling. You take the opportunities, you save hard. You enjoy the time with your children. This doesn’t mean you are rich or famous. No, materialism has no place here. Neither does fake cliques or brainwashing. In fact, perhaps you might still be in the financial war – minus the addiction, the depression, the stress.
You get to see your children grow up, you get to save more to do some traveling. This is due to the fact that you know that no one and nothing can break you, because you have already thought of all your backups. You have already experienced rock bottom. You have set your goals, you have experienced the winning. Because, after all, winning means no one stopped you on your path. On your path to actually get a second chance. To start a new life, to not make the same mistakes. To experience something amazing along your journey – such as having healthy relationships with your loved ones. Because the journey is what made it special all along. You would never give it up, even when it’s still actually continuing after you had that one exceptional victory. That one moment of true happiness.
Things to watch out for that may cause you to stray
Materialism, greed, fantasies… It will not help you. Technically, it’s all the same. You want things you can’t have. Unfortunately, you simply can’t have everything. So settle for your happiness. Take it and enjoy it. Don’t be fooled by empty promises, lies, and attempts to brainwash you. You are you, so stay true to yourself.
The take-away
Whether you suffered through a divorce, financial issues, disability even, nothing beats the fact that you broke through the barrier to get a victory. You had your moment. No one can take it away from you. Acknowledge the fact that life is complicated, be prepared for anything, look for your greener pastures, and once you have reached the summit, settle in your new life.
